Imperfect Loving Friendships

Love is a pervasive energy that is far more powerful than fear, hate, pain or anger.  We all can access the energy of love instantly. It cannot be withheld or controlled. What we recognize as “love” grows as we learn to give it more freely and receive it more gratefully.  Love is what keeps our heart beating and our soul thriving. This powerful energy is so pervasive that we never need to take love from anyone else. Love is energy. Pure love is recognizable instantly. Our hearts melt when we read the warming story of another human being acting selflessly, without hesitation, to help a stranger. Random acts of kindness spark a loving response even if for just an instant. The energy of love flows through a cute giggle of a small child experiencing some wonder that delighted them. Love moves between good friends reuniting after a long time only to have the feeling that they picked up right where they left off.  Love is easy to feel in the compassion of a close friend calling when you need it most.  Love is energy that fuels friendships. Loving is imperfect. What makes one person attract another are the imperfections. Michael Meade says, “People fall in love because the imperfections in each allow them to fit together.”  Like cogs in a wheel that fit and help each other turn, awareness of our imperfections is a part of being loving. At the core of loving one another is understanding and respecting these differences. A loving friendship relies heavily on embracing differences. We have to get past differences to find the friendship or relationship treasure.  It is the differences themselves that are one of the most important parts of loving another.  We have to discover the “fit” that brings us together. Our friendships are our teachers. We attract and choose our relationships either to experience something deep within our self or to love another enough to help them experience something deep within their self. Love is a mirror. While we as people become adept at spotting what’s “wrong” with other people, we do not realize that what we see very often mirrors what is inside our self. Every time we identify what is ugly about another person, the first thing we should be doing is looking within to see that very “ugly” thing inside us. But, too often, if we are really honest, we fall short at truly owning our “wrong” traits. We even erroneously characterize imperfections as “wrong” traits. The gift of mirroring in a loving friendship is that it allows us to explore the truth of who we are inside and out. Loving is exploring the depths of who we all are as human beings. On the path to our “self”, we can experience the depth of who we truly are and we can touch our soul. By our nature, that requires experiencing imperfect loving friendships.


Our heart has an adventure that is distinctly different than the daily life we work so hard to manage. Lane Michel helps people remember and live their heart adventure, their reason to succeed. Teams and organizations go through the same search for “success”. As a coach and consultant, he has helped many people and companies reach deep into their truth to make positive sustained changes. Lane is the founder of VeraHeart, living his heart adventure as an engineer, executive, entrepreneur, inspirational guide, writer and HeartMath® Certified Trainer.