How To Improve Connection and Sex with Chocolate

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        We all know that chocolate can arouse sexual desire and that meditation amongst lovers can lead to a deeper, more spiritual love connection. So, I’ve combined these two powerful aphrodisiacs into a tantric ritual called KISS Chocolate Meditation, which helps to awaken all five senses and teach you how to slow down and savor all of life’s yummiest moments – whether it’s food or sex.

        The “KISS” part of this practice is something I weave into many of the Tantra classes I teach. It stands for…

        K-Kinetic: Tantra is about tapping into and embracing our inherent sexual          energy.

        I-Intimacy: Tantra principles create deeper intimacy and make a true      “heart connection” through mindful sex.

        S-Slow Down: By slowing down the foreplay and intercourse, you are able       to be more present and pay more attention to the feelings and needs of both you and your partner.

        S-Sensuality: Feeling sensual before you get sexual will allow you to feel          more in your heart, body, and soul and help you feel more in tune with your     own body and with your partner.

        It’s no coincidence that I’m relating sex and food here. It’s two aspects of our lives that we all need to thrive and live life fullest. But, so many people have issues with food and sex, whether it’s with addictive patterns or unhealthy behavior, and this is a way to take a healthier approach to both.

        By slowing down as you’ll learn in this step-by-step guide below, you learn to be more mindful of what you are putting in your body, which helps you make healthier choices. Even just the practice of eating slower helps you feel fuller quicker and maybe not over-indulge in the “guilty pleasure” of chocolate, or with sex, going slower can give you time to think about what you are doing instead of possibly jumping into a bad situation.

        This can be a very healing practice for those who still have some guilt and shame over the foods they eat. Some people inhale their guilty pleasures for stress relief. But, if you eat slower and really savor the flavors to truly enjoy what you are eating, you’ll find that you end up eating less but actually enjoying it more. When we consume these pleasures – sex or food – too fast, it’s almost numbing your body’s natural desires. Same in relationships – you make better choices when you are fully present and listening to your body and self.

        KISS Chocolate Meditation is a short, daily meditation that you can do for yourself as a way to practice being more mindful and present in every aspect of your life – whether it’s with your diet, your sexuality, or your relationships. It’s also part of creating rituals in your life. Rituals help you slow down and be present and more connected to your self and others.

        You can also use this practice as foreplay and tease your partner with the chocolate to build more anticipation for the main event. Or, you can apply everything you’re about to learn to oral sex. Just substitute the piece of chocolate with the penis! The idea is that how you do one thing is how you do everything. It’s about practicing mindfulness in all aspects of your life – from mindful sex to mindful eating to mindful communication.

        Here is how to practice the KISS Chocolate Meditation using all five senses, which is key to awakening your sensuality and enhancing your sexuality, and how to apply it to the bedroom…

Step 1: Sight

Remember, this is all about building anticipation, teasing yourself or your partner, and letting your body build a natural desire and be begging for more by salivating and getting lubricated.

Start by holding a small piece of chocolate in your hand and just look at it. Many times we just eat our food so fast without even seeing what we’re eating. Or, we have sex with the lights off or our eyes closed. Really look at what you are about to consume. Take 2-3 long, deep breathes just looking at the chocolate. As with every Tantra exercise, breathing deeply through the practice is the secret to unlocking mindfulness, becoming more present, and really making that mind, body, and spirit connection.

How To Apply It To Sex: Devour your partner visually before devouring him/her physically. Savor your partner through sight. Take him/her in with your eyes to really see who you are about to share yourself with. It builds anticipation in a slow and mindful manner. Of course, use your sexiest come hither look, and perhaps give him a compliment on how hot he looks as you are looking at him. This is sure to make him blush.

Step 2: Smell

Wave the piece of chocolate under your nose and take in the seductive aroma. As you smell it, take 4-5 long, deep breathes and you’ll notice that you might start to salivate. The sense of smell is connected with your body being able to respond by creating the correct enzymes to digest the chocolate. It’s similar to female lubrication or male erection before sex – instead of just rushing into it let your body physically be ready and excited for it.


How To Apply It To Sex: Let’s be realistic here – we might not want to translate this literally because not many men would find it sexy for a woman to actively smell his penis. But, if he’s wearing cologne that you like, or just has a nice natural manly smell, you can smell his neck or chest and tell him how sexy he smells.

Step 3: Touch

Trace the outline of your lips with the piece of chocolate. This is building up more anticipation, and you’re probably salivating even stronger. Notice how the chocolate feels on your soft, wet lips. Appreciate the creamy, silky, smooth, and sensual texture of the chocolate on your lips. By now you might really want to eat this chocolate, but stay in the touch-mode for a few long, deep breathes before moving on.

How To Apply It To Sex: This is a pretty literal translation. Trace the outline of your lips with the tip of his penis. But don’t insert it into your mouth just yet. You just want to whet your whistle a bit, and tease him for now.

Step 4: Taste

Trace the chocolate square with the tip of your tongue now, licking the chocolate ever so gently. Do this for about 3-5 breathes to truly savor the sensation.

How To Apply It To Sex: Now, you can insert his penis into your mouth but don’t go into full blowjob mode just yet. Start with tracing his penis with your tongue, licking the tip and shaft, and going slowly to truly tease his penis and build up even more arousal.

Step 5: Hear

Now, you can fully put the piece of chocolate in your mouth, but don’t chew and swallow it. Place it on your tongue, close your mouth, and let it melt. As it’s melting, make that humming “mmm mmm” sound. The vibration in your mouth combined with the sensual, yumminess of chocolate can be very arousing. It engages you further and makes your mind more present instead of wandering away. Feel it start to melt and change shape in your mouth.

How To Apply It To Sex: They don’t call it a “hummer” for nothing. One great blowjob technique is to hum while you are giving him oral. The humming sensation creates a very stimulating vibration on his penis. Now, you can fully take him in your mouth and service him orally.


Psalm Isadora – Tantra, Sexuality,  & Trauma Expert

Psalm Isadora

Psalm Isadora is a highly sought after sexuality and trauma expert who specializes in women’s health and empowerment, as well as modern sexual education for adults. She is the leading Tantra expert in the world and reached over 66 million homes as the star of Playboy TV’s reality show Cougar Club. She is a featured expert in Buzzfeed’s newest web-series Modern Sex (airing summer 2016), and Founder of global sex coaching program Urban Kama Sutra. Isadora blends beauty with brains as she inspires the next generation of sexually empowered women.

Isadora created OYoga, a combination of yoga, belly dance and burlesque to help women unlock their own inner sex goddess. Her groundbreaking work has been featured on the cover of OM Yoga Magazine, Mashable, KABC's Midday Live with Dr. Drew, PodcastOne's Brandi Glanville Unfiltered, YourTango, AskMen, Bustle, and many more.

Psalm has de-mystified the ancient secrets of Tantra to make them accessible to the modern masses in what she calls “the yoga of sex.” Her sexy, soulful and spiritual approach to breaking sexual taboo makes her equally popular with male and female audiences. She specializes in helping women have better sex and men reach peak performance. Her no-nonsense approach cuts through the noise and helps couples save their relationships.

Raised in a religious cult as a child, Isadora endured years of sexual trauma that eventually ignited her passion to teach sexual empowerment and modern sexual education. In 2007, Isadora traveled to India to immerse herself in the ancient teachings of Tantra to facilitate deep healing and discover her own path as a healer. For eight years, Isadora has traveled to India to delve deeper into the path of Tantra and teach yoga to sex-trafficked women in the red light district of Calcutta. Her volunteer work with the young prostitutes of Calcutta would eventually become part of a documentary titled “Shakti.”

From public speaking to TV appearances, Psalm Isadora is sure to infuse her message with intelligence, wit and humor to keep audiences engaged, inspired and begging for more.

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