When making friends with other women there are an array of personalities you can encounter. There are many characters with distinct traits that tend to gravitate towards you. If we were to narrow it down into simple “animalistic” terms we have the Alpha, the Beta and the Omega female. Ever since I was a child I have always attracted the Alpha female as my best-friend.
The Alpha female is often more intimidating to others. She is confrontational and stands up for what she believes. She will not take no for an answer, and things normally go her way.They know what they want and they like to be in control. The Beta Female is often more passive aggressive. Her personality tends to be more nurturing and sweet. She can be confrontational and can dominate but only in dire situations. The Omega is the last of the pack and tends to have little to no ambition, not confrontational, and can lack confidence.I have always had alpha females in my life. They are the closest people to me, and I’ve managed to form strong and deep connections with them. I don’t know if I would be considered a beta at this point in my life, I feel that I hold some alpha characteristics. But then again not everyone is purely one. Sonya Rhodes PhD states in an article she wrote called “Alpha women, Beta Woman.” that we can be a mixture of both: “Alpha? Beta? It isn’t always either/or, and Alpha is not better than Beta. Far more important is the degree of each that you have in your personality. You may be a Beta, with anywhere from a handful to a big helping of Alpha, or an Alpha with strong to middling Beta tendencies, or an extreme Alpha, with practically no Beta at all. You may be pretty much a hybrid, with equal amounts of both. I’m betting that you’ve got some Alpha no matter who you are.” If it wasn’t for the Alpha women I have met and befriended throughout my life, I would not be the person I am today.
My first friend in elementary school was Vanessa, she spoke no English only Spanish. Even though she had a hard time communicating with other kids and the teachers, the confidence in herself never faded. We were only six when we met but she was already presenting alpha traits. Growing up together I was the shy friend, the nice friend. She was the tough and loud one. The get out of my way friend and for us it worked. If anyone ever said or did anything mean to me she would not have it! She was the first person by my side and always had my back. This was pretty much most of my childhood. I admired her strength to never let anything get to her and how she could shoot fear into the mean boys’ hearts just with a glance! She was my savior, my sister and my best-friend. To this day she would kick anyone’s ass for me. Thanks to her I learned the meaning of protecting others and always being there for them in a time of need.
Once in middle school I became best friends with a girl named Susy. She was quiet and kept to herself and her friends only. But she was hot headed and didn’t take crap from anyone. Middle school is a hard time in a pre-teens life, there are so many changes happening and this time also tends to introduce bullies. Yes like Vanessa Susy would always stand up for me, but unlike her she would push me to stand up for myself. I remember she would tell me “Say something to them! Don’t let them walk all over you! Defend yourself!” And even though her doing this would intimate me, it fueled me. I wanted to be more like her in that way, not afraid to speak my mind when I felt I needed to defend myself. Then finally I did, those words still stick with me till this day, and whenever I know I am in a situation where someone is trying to take advantage of my kindness. I stand up for myself. She helped me realize my self-worth, and how to voice my opinion without fear of repercussions.
Years later in college I became close to many people, but the two that I have created the deepest connections with are my two alpha best friends: Kristina and Monisha. They both have very different personality traits, but share the same alpha qualities. Strong, goal oriented, confident, and determined young women. From one friend I learned how to be more open to people I didn’t understand and not to prejudge their actions before getting to learn their story. Due to the fact that she was my complete opposite we had many debates and through this we both grew. She taught me how to say “NO” which was one of the hardest things for me to do. My other friend taught me confidence, in my work and in my career to this day she pushes me to strive for more. She makes me do better and reminds me to not let a small failure get to my head, but instead learn from it and move forward.
It is important to have a conscious understanding of yourself and of others. For me these Alpha personalities have helped push me forward through their love and their friendships and helped me become a better me. With my Alpha Female friends I was able to create authentic friendships that have helped mold me to the woman I am today and continue to influence the woman I’m becoming. To them I say thank you.
Rhodes, Sonya, PhD. “Alpha Woman, Beta Woman.” Psychology Today. Susan Schneider, 14 Apr. 2014. Web. 14 July 2016.