Imperfect Loving Friendships

Love is a pervasive energy that is far more powerful than fear, hate, pain or anger.  We all can access the energy of love instantly. It cannot be withheld or controlled. What we recognize as “love” grows as we learn to give it more freely and receive it more gratefully.  Love is what keeps our heart beating and our soul thriving. This powerful energy is so pervasive that we never need to take love from anyone else. Love is energy....

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Friendship in the Face of Death

I know, I know…who the heck wants to talk about death. After all, we’re here and alive. Let’s embrace what we have in front of us, right. But life sometimes throws us curveballs. Those of us privileged enough to live a longer life are going to, at some point, have to deal with death. Even in friendship. In October of 2015, I lost my best friend of 40 years to breast cancer. Sandy had her faults, just like I did, and still...

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Place and Friendship

When I moved from Washington state to California with a six week warning, among the hardest people to tell were my closest friends. We’d come of age side by side. They were there when I struggled with sadness, when I drank too much, when I met and married my husband, when I birthed my babies. They listened when I changed my mind, when I got lost, when I found meaning.  I couldn’t say the words aloud, so I wrote it in a card that I...

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Friendship, Love and Sex

“The first natural and lasting human connection is Love and Friendship. Sex comes last.” -Ashok Thakur I have been asked many times how I make, and keep, amazing, conscious, and beautiful friends despite our disparate ages, cultural backgrounds and life styles. The answer is simple. I am not judgmental. I am trustworthy. People feel very comfortable confiding in me. I always think about what I can contribute to the friendship...

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Ode to the Troubadours

A wicked yet scintillating feeling would strike deep in our guts the moment we would meet between a pair of particularly boring high school classes and make the split second decision to ditch for the remainder of the afternoon. The four of us would inexplicably look at the backpack with the notebook waiting to be filled with poetry elegantly draped around Vanessa’s shoulder. Then the hippie fringe knapsack haughtily held in Shana’s...

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On the Wild West

Growing up in the 80s in urban America, it was almost a pop culture-induced mannerism to follow the word “friends” with the question, “how many of us have them?” The ubiquitous Whodini rap song questioned the meaning of friendship in ways the inner-city of the time could relate. From the casual hangs of growing up with the homeboys, to dating and breaking up, the song almost implied that friendship has a much more inferred meaning...

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Friendship Opens a World Beyond the Visible

My friend Pat and I have an agreement about our friendship: we don’t need to attend the other’s funeral, because we’ve agreed to be here for each other during our lifetime.Pat and I first met when I was a senior in college, and she was already mid-career with two grown children who were starting to raise families. Pat’s position at the State Health Department was nearly unpronounceable to me. She was an...

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Falling in Love & Friendship

When we think about falling in love, we don’t typically associate it with friendship. The term ‘falling in love’ conjures for most of us images of moonlight walks, bouquets of flowers perhaps even an intimate embrace in front of the eiffel tower (I know cheesy). Actually that’s not really what it conjures for me in a romantic encounter sense. I’m thinking more deep conversations, emotional vulnerability, spiritual connection and lots...

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Having Alpha Females as your Best Friends

When making friends with other women there are an array of personalities you can encounter. There are many characters with distinct traits that tend to gravitate towards you. If we were to narrow it down into simple “animalistic” terms we have the Alpha, the Beta and the Omega female. Ever since I was a child I have always attracted the Alpha female as my best-friend. The Alpha female is often more intimidating to others. She is...

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The Center Of The Universe

The Center of the Universe Daniel and I met at a networking party at an estate in downtown Palo Alto. The house was known as “the center of the universe,” and sometimes it seemed like it was. All of the best parties took place there, with people from around the world gallivanting around the property finely dressed, alongside burned-out billionaires who had struck it rich in the early tech era. Daniel and I connected one night, as he...

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Do My Friends Really Know Me?

Do my friends really know me? Or do they know who I used to be?   This article comes at a really interesting time in my life, as I am about to leave on vacation, where I will spend some time with an old college buddy, who I would ‘technically’ consider to be my best friend.  But why would I say technically?  We spent four years in college together, lived in the same house, bonded over beers, parties, girls and tough college classes. ...

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